The Library

Since I quit and/or got fired (it's hard to say with these things) from the factory, the library is practically my new home. It's all fair, though, because half their books are staying at my house now. Did you know you can renew your borrowed items indefinitely with just the click of a button?

It must be fun to work at the library. I suppose it's not unlike working the counter just about anyplace. I'll never forget cashiering at the thrift store... Used lipstick? Really? Then again, we were the ones selling it.

I have made good use of the library's new self-checkout technology, but one unfortunate day it is malfunctioning. So I bring my selections up to the librarian at the desk. I place them conveniently face-down, barcode up. This does not fool the librarian. Invariably, he turns them right-side up after scanning, while I scramble to sweep them from the counter into my bag as quickly as possible without looking more crazy than my erratic literary collection already suggests. How to Get Published, Jobs in Education, Starting Your Own Business, Top 50 International Careers, The Idiot's Guide to Stop Sucking at Life... it's humiliating!

When he finishes silently judging me, Mr. I-Have-A-Job Librarian looks me in the eye and sincerely requests that I "have a nice day." Clearly, one day is all he figures I can afford.

I mentally fashion my college degree into a book cover.

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