The Mom Test

I was having a hard time on my own in Virginia, musing, There should be a group of people who all live together, and help each other out. I frowned, imagining myself joining a scary cult, before realizing that I had just invented... family. So instead of marrying the next man I saw, I joined that special demographic of adults who live with their parents. I moved in with my mom, and this woman's jurisdiction has more laws than California. I am choosing to study for the GRE to go to grad school to get a real job to afford my own place, rather than try to pass the impossible exam that is daily life here. At least the GRE adheres to a widely accepted standard. If you want to pass the Mom test, you are going to need some extra help. Here is a practice exam I put together:

1. The bathmat goes...
a) on the left side of the tub
b) on the right side of the tub
c) in the bathroom
(Hint: it's not c, contrary to common sense.)

2. To use the microwave...
a) push the buttons
b) cover the food with the glass lid
c) b + put the lid back on top of the microwave, but off the edge a little bit so air can get in

That's as far as I got. I have plenty more questions, but unfortunately they will not be of any use to you because I still do not know any of the answers.

Good luck!


  1. Way to go, inventing family. I have a feeling it is going to be a big hit :)
    I am thinking 1 has to be a. It is kind of a no-brainer if you just actually don't use your brain and pick the first letter you see. But, on a more serious note, and going into the land of over-analyzing things, I personally feel more comfortable stepping out of the tub with my left foot first. That is why I am going with a, the left side. Question 2 is c. I am certain of this one.

    1. Thanks. The other day I invented a couch, maybe I should write about that.

      You got 50% on the exam, therefore I cannot recommend this living situation for you.