10. Terrence and Trevor are wussy names. Just be honest and call your son Terror.
9. You're not really going to name your daughter Clementine, are you? And it's a little late to hop on the Lydia trend. You know what will help this situation? Chlamydia.
8, 7, 6. So you're having triplets? Congratulations! But that's triple the names to fight about. Your spouse probably wants them to be match-matchy like Jenny, Jamie, and Julie. Gross. Meanwhile you're suggesting more reasonable possibilities: Amanda, Madeline, Clara... Annette, Violet, Lynn... Here's a compromise: Mandolynn, Clarinette, and Violynn. Plus, you already have a family band in the making. Win-win-win.
5. It's tempting to follow the trends that are reaching back farther and farther to pull out grandmotherly gems like Eileen and Scarlett. But if you're going for something that antique, might as well name her Eyelett after that horrible lace from the same century as those oldy names. In fact, while you're at it, look in the attic for the bassinet passed down from your grandmother Eileen... it probably has some eyelet bedding with it. Now get rid of that and get a proper crib.
4. Sage has been moderately popular for awhile, and you'll even meet some Basils -- but why do we have to take our hippie inclinations so literally? What's wrong with something normal, like Megan? Or if you must incorporate a spice, at least go with Nutmegan. Lots of nickname options there.
3. But if you insist on naming your child after an herb, at least let me help you justify it: Preempt Camille's potential stuttering problem and just call her Chamomile to begin with. People might mutter "child abuse" under their breath when they hear that your plan to name your child after a disgusting tea, but these are the same people who named their kid Aiden/Caden/Jayden back in 2010. Ignore them.
2. Ariel and Aurelia are unique enough for some, but to really ensure she's the only kid in her class with her name, call her Areola. You might have a hard time finding a keychain with her name on it at touristy gift shops, but I guarantee she will not have to go by first name + last initial.
1. Calista and Charity are okay I guess, but I don't understand why Calamity hasn't made a comeback yet. It doesn't have to be Calamity Jane, if that's too boring. Just play around with it: Calamity Susan... Calamity Jezebel... hell, you could even go with Calamity Sophia.
