The problem with being single for a decade (and counting) longer than planned is that your standards are forced to go down right when they should really be going up. You're finally smart enough to know exactly how you deserve to be treated and filter out all the unworthy types of guys you would have dated when you were younger... except now the filtering has been done for you and then some.
If I wanted to marry riffraff, I could have done that right away. I didn't wait this long just for someone's leftovers and their three bratty kids.
New strategy: The most expensive face cream I can afford and a newfound interest in hanging out on college campuses. Legal is legal.
