Mom: Here, have my month's supply of Ambien! According to my doctor, it's totally not addictive at all!
Me: OMG THIS STUFF IS AMAZING. I AM TAKING AMBIEN FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.
Me: Brother try this Ambien, it's like magic. We're giving it out like candy over here! I am totally addicted. Ha ha, just kidding, because it's not addictive.
Brother: Indeed it works. Do you have more of that?
Me, protecting my last pill: MY PRECIOUS!!
Me: Doctor please give to me the Ambien... I uh... I hear it's good stuff.
Doctor: Well you know Ambien is addictive.
Me: ...Is it?
Me: Ambien is addictive!
Mom: Well, my Doctor didn't say it wasn't non-addictive...
Me: Get your devil pills away from me!
Me: Ugh, all day I have been so dizzy and nauseous and I don't know why. It's really unusual.
Coworker: Maybe you should eat something [and keep your rehab at rehab].
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