Gifts from my Neighbor

Items my upstairs neighbor has left me on my patio and in my vegetable garden over the course of our time together:

• 17 beer cans
• 2 cigarette cartons
• 4 tennis balls
• 5 dog bones
• 2 tennis balls
• water from 1 overturned dog bowl, 2 feet from my head
• 1 used disposable glove
• white paint splatters that have made "bird poop chic" a permanent part of my patio aesthetic
• 2 rotting limes
• 2 plastic bags
• 1 half-full can of spray paint
• 1 mechanical pencil
• 52 cigarette butts
• 1.5 peanut shells
• 1 half eaten orange
• orange peels
• various plastic bits
• constant sense of dread

Goodbye and good luck, the slum.

Hitler in the Kitchen

I decided to read this book about Hitler and it turned out to be a million pages, so I was making very slow progress. Meanwhile this huge hardback has just been sitting at my table, keeping me company. I started talking to Hitler instead of my plants: What should we have for dinner, Hitler? I've been using Hitler as a computer riser when I have an interview, and he does a great job. Hitler's a real pal.

The inside of the book is pretty good, too. I'm still at the beginning part where Hitler is just a nobody and I don't think I'm supposed to feel inspired by it? I mean he was really floundering there for awhile. 

Hitler went back to the library today and I'm really gonna miss that guy. We spent 6 renewals together, which is something like 21 weeks. I only made it to page 61 of 2,937,533, but maybe that's for the best.

How the Job Search Is Going

My job search so far:

• One recruiter sent a message to all applicants, exposing our competition's identities and contact information to each other.
• A temp agency that used to call me with jobs called me with candidates instead. I feel like I'm moving up in the world. Also, if I need to fall back on them for work, I already know who my competition is.
• 90% of recruiters ghosted me, one after four interviews, including a case study that I spent hours preparing for.
• "When you start you'll just be putting out fires." Points for honesty?
• One interviewer told me I would actually be logging in to Salesforce and sharing my screen and that the interview would be recorded. The amount of notice I had about these details: None.
• One interviewer did not say words. I wasn't sure if he wanted me to conduct the interview or what. I inexplicably tortured myself with a second interview with him, during which he was again mysteriously mute unless he was giving a one-word answer to the questions I felt compelled to fill the silence with.

To be fair:

• I told one interviewer I don't like their products.
• I may have been kinda high during a morning interview.
• I joined a Zoom interview with a giant pair of underwear as my background.