20130110

Your Bathroom Doesn't Impress Me

I decided not to date until I get my act together, because 28-year-old career temps who live with their mom and still use a flip phone (prepaid!) only attract men with one or more of the following qualities:

1. felon
2. work one day a week
3. don't have a car
     a. because they never learned to drive
          i. not convinced he knows how to ride a bike either
4. don't speak English
5. live in a quad
     a. but it's a step up from a quad because we each have our own ba--
          i. it's still a quad

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